“Get out of your own way, Mr Hidden.”
Image Used With Permission From https://www.brittfowler.com
It was New Year’s Eve.
I had been melancholy for the better part of fall, which had now morphed into winter. In an effort to quell this sadness, I packed a pen and paper and found a little red table tucked among greenery in the geodesic dome at The Greater Des Moines Botanical Garden. I sat, journal spread before me, trying to process the following: I feel that I squandered much of 2023- I let my anxieties rule me, and here at HDSM I struggled to make content authentically as I had in 2022. I had planned to journal through this mental red tape, though nothing came to me. A kind woman saw me from above and came down to my level. She remarked that it was wonderful to see someone journaling by hand. I smiled but I couldn’t help but think how I didn’t feel that way, and I left the gardens with an empty feeling.
Shortly after, though, my good friend and esteemed local poet Kelsey Bigelow reached out to me. Last minute New Year’s Eve plans were made- and soon I was invigorated with the energy to speed-clean my apartment. Luckily (and perhaps hilariously on brand) I had champange on hand at home. Later, my home was full of laughter and music as another two friends, Holly and her dog Cookie joined us. Together we looked back at our previous 12 months, our triumphs, our regrets, and our wishes for the future. Kelsey (ever a writer even in conversation) remarked that she was going to focus on getting out of her own way in 2024. I felt the mental click that I had been seeking earlier while journaling. So we toasted to it.
As 2023 faced its twilight hours, I stumbled across a photograph by Britt Fowler (shown above)- another local photographer who has long been a source of inspiration for me. Before me, perfectly framed, was the table and chairs I had frustratedly failed to journal at just hours earlier. I took this as a sign, and returned to the garden days later with a potent sense of purpose. I set the following goals with the intention of getting out of my own way.
Defining The Trajectory of 2024
Address missed connections, apologize when necessary, and commit to replying in a timely manner.
I am ashamed to admit that I neglected my inboxes this year. I have a handful of apologies to write, and if these people still want to connect with me and work together I will be ecstatic. If not, I can only offer my grace and understanding, and that’s ok.
Commit to writing again.
In a conversation with Susan Stapleton of the Des Moines Register, she told me “writing is a muscle”. Let’s commit to keeping it healthy.
Abandon my perfectionism.
So much content has gone unshared in 2023 because my perfectionism paralized me, ideas went unfinished, and work stagnated.
Embrace the inner purpose of HDSM.
HiddenDSM should enrich lives. Either mine, by encouraging me to live presently and fully, or people like you. I’ll keep pointing you to the beauty in our city.
Encourage other creatives.
This last one is a little more vague. I know that I want to find ways to nurture the work of others, but I’m not certain just how I’ll go about that yet. You can contact me if you have an idea in the meantime.
Final THoughts
The moral of the story here is that human connection is invaluable. Without planning it, my friends Kelsey and Holly (and Cookie, too!) helped me process some things that I had been stuck on. More importantly, I am reminded that isolating myself is not necessarily protecting my peace, and if I struggle with the above goals it’s okay if I need to talk it out.
Here’s to 2024.
